Things I Regret Sharing’: TikTok Trend Encourages Increased Oversharing

The trend aims to debunk the myth of a flawless life, with experts suggesting that it can assist users in feeling less isolated during challenging times

From sharing last night’s dinner recipe to documenting a recent gallery visit or providing a track-by-track review of Beyoncé’s latest album, the practice of documenting our daily lives and thoughts on social media has become so prevalent that it’s now challenging to determine what constitutes oversharing.

However, a new trend is pushing the boundaries of online candor, encouraging users to share their most vulnerable and uncomfortable truths.

The latest TikTok craze, known less than succinctly as “social media is fake, here are things I’m ashamed to admit,” or more commonly as the hashtag #socialmediaisfake, is taking online openness to a whole new level.

Through its searches, the trend has discovered people who are worried about their future in life, about their financial security, and about the potential that they would never find love.

The trend’s acoustic soundtrack has been featured in over 463,000 videos, earning millions of views, and the hashtag has been used over 26,000 times since March.

On social media, oversharing has grown in popularity, particularly among Gen Z—those born between 1996 and 2010—who use these platforms. The idea of showcasing idealised representations of everyday life on platforms is being contested by this generation.

According to recent surveys, young people are worried that their lives won’t be as good as those of past generations. Some of them even expressed a sense of “hopelessness” about what lies ahead. The 2024 World Happiness Report predicts that young people are experiencing something akin to a midlife crisis and will be less happy than prior generations.

“I spent five years in university earning my master’s degree, but I’m still working as a barista and making minimum wage while my peers are landing real jobs,” said Hannah, a TikTok user who has contributed to the #socialmediaisfake movement, in a video. “I’ve been jobless for nearly a year because I took a chance that didn’t pan out,” said Niki, another user.

While some posts in the trend demonstrate commendable honesty regarding real generational challenges, others veer into more troubling disclosures that some liken to a cry for help.

For instance, Sana shared, “I feel lonely almost all the time, despite having amazing friends. I can’t shake off this sense of loneliness.” Another user, Billie Jo, who is 22 years old, disclosed that she lacks qualifications because she has not been in full-time education due to “crippling mental health,” which makes her “terrified of the real world and unsure of [her] purpose.”

The trend originated from a 26-year-old in Denmark who posted in March, listing “eight things I am ashamed to say out loud.” Rikke Drue stated that she created the video after feeling lonely and insecure about her career. “It’s a way to express your feelings and get a hug back,” she added.

Despite having a degree and a solid education, Drue expressed feeling lost, and the post served as a way to alleviate these emotions. “I’ve been carrying these feelings with me constantly, and I always say I’ve taken a break from life because I don’t know what to do. I was just feeling incredibly lonely with these thoughts,” she explained.

The video has since garnered 1.3 million views. In it, she opened up about her skin insecurities, how she frequently compares herself and her life to what she sees on social media, and her anxiety about whether she will ever find success in love, career, and family life. She also mentioned her love-hate relationship with LinkedIn, noting that using the app is challenging for her when she sees others flaunting their career accomplishments.

“I initially thought my feelings were unremarkable and that people would struggle to relate, but when I posted the video, it turned out many others felt the same way,” she said.

“After I posted, I was overwhelmed by the response. I’ve gone from having 700 followers to 5,000, and everyone has been so kind. I’ve received numerous messages from people thanking me for sharing my thoughts, as they feel less alone in their own situations.”

A significant number of participants in this trend are women. Simon Gunning, the chief executive of the suicide prevention charity Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM), believes that trends like these can offer a safe space for those who typically suffer in silence.

“One woman under the age of 25 in the UK takes her own life every two days. These statistics help explain why the majority of people currently participating in the ‘social media is fake’ trend are women,” he said.

While suicide remains the leading cause of death in men under 50, the charity has discovered that women in crisis often avoid seeking help due to fears of being perceived as seeking attention, being overly dramatic, or being too emotional. According to Calm, of the 20% of women who did seek help, one in five were told they were being dramatic, and another 20% were asked if they were on their period.

“There is still crucial work to be done in supporting women with their mental health, and this trend is evidently providing an important outlet for them,” Gunning remarked.

However, one expert advised caution. Mark Silvert, a psychiatrist based in London, believes that trends involving excessive oversharing can have potential downsides. “There is a risk of oversimplifying complex psychological issues or inadvertently glamourizing unhealthy coping mechanisms,” he cautioned.

Silvert noted that the trend of oversharing can lead participants to make more comparisons with others, exacerbating the issues many are discussing. “By oversharing and becoming accustomed to strangers’ situations, comparison is likely to emerge, which can result in unrealistic standards that further erode one’s self-worth,” he explained.

Eloise Skinner, a psychotherapist, believes that the key to effectively managing oversharing online is to view it as a starting point for increased transparency to enhance mental health. “While this trend may not offer a sustainable method for complete healing, it is likely to encourage more people to be open about their struggles,” she said. “I hope it can serve as the initial step for individuals to seek professional help for lasting improvements to their mental health.”

TikTok stated that a “diversity of communities” utilizes the platform to “express their authentic selves, find genuine connections, and engage in open discussions about mental well-being.” The platform has safety guidelines that include not promoting suicide or self-harm.

l-being resources to our community, including a guide with suggestions on how to share their story responsibly.”